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of course boredom walked me here. ennui. that giant hole. the elusive groove. i laugh a lot and smile and it is real. joy is my salvation. i find the absurd in most everything. myself included. lately i have been working in sales. which is what we all do. some of us accept an hourly wage for our sales, but the rock stars decide to float our stock. no matter what you do, it is sales. and i am pretty good. not great. only because i have not decided on whether to blow the whole fucking thing up or whether to get drunk and giggle. i glide. in a pattern indiscernible and glad. i realize that my fellows strength is my strength. my heart is nourished by madness. the madness that hovers just below. my stroll is smart. because deep in my soul i have always intuitively known that your dance is my dance. your dreams are mine. your pain, i too have surrendered to that memory of loss. the love that wasn't. the dream that hoped sacrosanct in it's inviolability but left...